If You Don't Trust Your Surgeon, Find a New One — We're Everywhere

A fun day prompted this thought.

I did a reconstruction at Cedars in the morning and then came back to the office and did a couple of consultations in the afternoon. Both of the afternoon patients had been referred by prior patients of mine, which is one of my favorite things about my practice. The second one had been referred, then checked me out online, and walked into the consult already saying, "you're my surgeon."

That kind of moment — where a patient is already comfortable with you before the consult even starts — is enormously valuable for surgical outcomes, and I want to talk about why.

Plastic surgery is not like getting your oil changed. A great relationship between you and your surgeon is genuinely load-bearing for the quality of your outcome. You need to:

• Trust each other
• Understand each other
• Feel comfortable with each other
• Be able to communicate clearly about what you want, what's realistic, and what you're feeling at every step

When that's in place, outcomes are better. Not because the surgery is technically different, but because:

• You're honest with your surgeon about goals, fears, and concerns
• Your surgeon is honest with you about what they can and can't deliver
• You show up to follow-ups instead of avoiding them
• You call early when something seems off — when small problems are still small
• You comply with post-op instructions
• You trust the recovery process when it gets uncomfortable

I've written before about why follow-up visits are half of your surgical result. That whole post is essentially predicated on the patient feeling comfortable enough with their surgeon to actually come back. If you don't trust them, you won't engage — and the half of your outcome that depends on follow-up suffers.

Here's why patient referrals work so well in my practice:

• Cool patients refer their cool friends. Honestly. If my patient is a great human who I clicked with and got great results, they're going to recommend me to a similar kind of person.
• The new patient walks in already partly trusting me because someone they trust does.
• That trust accelerates the relationship-building that good surgical care depends on.

If you're looking for a plastic surgeon, ask your friends, family, and coworkers who they used and what their experience was. Not just "did the result look good," but:

• Did they trust the surgeon?
• Did they feel heard at consultation?
• Were they able to call with concerns without feeling dismissed?
• Did the surgeon show up for them when things were uncertain?

Those are the questions that matter.

The flip side of this is something I see in my DMs constantly — and it's the genesis of why I wanted to make this video.

Every couple of weeks, I get messages from patients who are:

• Having complications they don't feel are being managed well
• Not happy with the surgeon they met at consultation
• Feeling dismissed when they try to express concerns
• Don't know what to do

And my advice is always the same: find another surgeon first.

If you've lost trust in your current surgeon, here's the order of operations:

• Don't fire your current surgeon until you have someone else lined up to see
• This is especially important if you're in the middle of a complication
• You want continuity of care; you just want it with someone you trust

• Pay for the consult if you have to
• Bring all your records, photos, imaging
• Be honest about why you're seeking a second opinion
• A good surgeon will give you a straight assessment

• If you click with the new surgeon and your concerns are validated, switch
• If the new surgeon thinks your original plan is fine, that's also useful information

• Plastic surgery is too consequential to stay with a surgeon you don't trust out of awkwardness
• Surgeons are professionals — we are used to patients seeking second opinions
• A surgeon who makes you feel guilty for considering a second opinion is, itself, a flag

I joke about this in the video and I'll say it again here: plastic surgeons are like cockroaches. We're under every trash can and bench. There are a lot of us. You can absolutely find someone who fits you better than the surgeon you've lost faith in.

When looking for a new surgeon:

• Make sure they're board-certified by the American Board of Plastic Surgery (ABPS — not one of the fake boards)
• Look at their hospital privileges and surgical center accreditations
• Ask about their patient communication style during the consult
• Look at their before-and-after results in your specific procedure
• Trust your gut at the consultation — does this feel like someone you can be honest with?

I want to be fair about something. The relationship is two-way. Patients also have responsibilities:

• Be honest about your medical history, medications, goals, and concerns
• Follow post-op instructions
• Show up to follow-up appointments
• Call early when something seems off
• Trust the process when your surgeon explains why something they're doing makes sense

If a patient comes to me dishonest about their history or unwilling to follow instructions, the relationship breaks down on that side too. The trust has to flow both directions.

I want to close with this, because the original video came from a place of genuine joy.

When I meet a new patient referred by an existing patient I love, I know we're probably going to have a great relationship. I know I'm going to be able to give her honest information. I know she's going to call me when something concerns her. I know we're going to have better surgical outcomes because we have a foundation of mutual respect from minute one.

That foundation isn't a luxury. It's a meaningful contributor to how well surgery goes.

The relationship with your surgeon matters as much as your surgeon's technical skill — maybe more, because that relationship is what determines whether you'll engage with the recovery process honestly and fully.

If you have a great relationship with your surgeon, treasure that. Refer your friends to them. Tell other patients about them.

If you've lost faith in your surgeon — for any reason — find a new one before doing anything else. We are not in short supply. You should not stay with a surgeon you don't trust just because they did the original operation, especially if you're in the middle of a complication or recovery.

You deserve a surgeon you trust. Go find them. We're everywhere.