Hot Takes: What I Wish I'd Known, and the Worst Career Advice I Got

Another personal round. This one got into life lessons, nerves, and the best and worst career advice I've ever been handed.

A few things, and both of these lessons I learned from patients early in my career, right after I finished training.

That sounds blunt, and I mean it kindly:

I learned that from patients, which is maybe the one credential that makes it land. (It's also why I think so much about the difference between wanting a change and being told you need one, and why there's no age at which it stops being your decision.)

The second one I'd tell my younger self: the things that are important should all be given the same amount of energy.

Maintaining friendships and relationships with family should be as important as your career. And that was not always the case for me in training, because of the hours I was working. Surgical training does that to people.

If I could go back, I would spend more time on some of those friendships.

Before a really big surgery, or something complicated in a way that's different from a typical procedure, I handle it exactly one way: I over-prepare.

I've been this way since early medical school.

That's the whole trick. Nerves aren't something I talk myself out of. They're something I out-prepare.

I come from a family of physicians, so when it comes to career advice I had never-ending troves of it. Two pieces stuck:

Treat every day like an audition. Make sure you're at your best at every moment of every day.

Take every opportunity and cherish it, because:

Understand that, and be respectful of the gifts you've been given.

This one I actually overheard being said to a different resident, and it was:

"You are not replaceable, and you're incredible."

Here's my problem with it: we're all replaceable, and I think we all need to recognize that.

It's worth noticing that this is the same belief as the good advice, just pointed the other way. "Treat every day like an audition" and "you're irreplaceable" can't both be true. One of them keeps you sharp and grateful. The other one makes you complacent, and complacency in an operating room is not a personality quirk.

Four honest answers:

• Appreciate what you see in the mirror now, because you're aging either way
• Give your relationships the same energy you give your career. I didn't, in training, and I'd change that
• Handle fear by over-preparing until the scary thing isn't scary
• Treat every day like an audition, and don't ever believe you're irreplaceable

If you want the lighter version of this, the previous personal round covered dog portraits and my Sunday scaries routine, and there's a whole rapid-fire personal Q&A if you're curious about the rest.